Walk By The Spirit

Not every memory I have of church is a good one. Being a preacher’s kid, I’ve had to watch my dad endure some pretty awful stuff. This story, however, is one that rocked me and my friends in our youth group to the core. During my senior year of High School, I played on the varsity tennis team. My coach and mentor on that team just happened to be my youth minister, Greg. He was one of the most fun guys I had ever met. He was hilarious, and he loved Jesus and the kids in our youth group. Needless to say, he had left a HUGE mark on my life and had gotten me to fall in love with a sport that I really had just started playing. 

One week during practice, Greg told all of us that his anniversary was coming up that weekend. He had plans to celebrate with his wife, and we were all excited for him. He was in a great mood, and we couldn’t wait to find out how things went. Greg’s wife, Becky, was the secretary at the church, and we all loved her to death. She helped Greg with our youth group and was the mom figure on Sunday nights for a lot of kids. As a high school kid, it was so fun getting to hang out in their home and witness a young, Christian couple live out their marriage and parenthood in front of us. Personally, I hoped they would have the best anniversary. I couldn’t be more excited for both of them. 

The next week came and Greg was acting really weird. We all asked how his anniversary went, and all we got back was, “It was good.” Greg’s eyes were bloodshot, and he looked like he hadn’t slept since last week. All kinds of thoughts shot through my brain. Did they get in a fight? Did Becky not like his surprise? Did they lose a loved one? I couldn’t figure out what had happened. Practices that whole week were miserable. Greg, who was usually bouncing all over the place, was quiet and detached. We all just did our own thing, but things were just way off. I remember one of the guys looking at me and asking, “What the heck happened?” None of us knew.

A few weeks later, I graduated from Clear Fork High School in Bellville, Ohio, and moved to Mt. Vernon, Kentucky. I remember one afternoon my parents acting a little strange, and they wanted to talk with me. They said it was important, and all I could think was, “What did I do?” That day, my parents told me what happened to Greg and Becky on their anniversary. Becky had gotten up that morning with the kids and didn’t see Greg anywhere. They had a live-in babysitter at the time, and decided to go by her room. What she found there was devastating. Greg was in bed with their babysitter, who just happened to be engaged to Becky’s brother.  To say she was devastated might be an understatement. Her kids would be scarred for life. Greg’s lust had just ruined not only his life but the life of his wife, kids, brother-in-law, and, as we would find out later, the babysitter and her child that would be born later out of this relationship. One decision left destruction in its wake. 

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
James 1:14–15

As far as I’m concerned, lust is terrifying. It takes the most common-sense human being and turns them into a ravenous animal that can’t control its hunger. What would make someone throw away years of a Godly marriage and ruin the lives of three beautiful children? Lust. It’s been one of Satan’s favorite weapons against humanity for thousands of years. If he can get someone to let their eyes wander for just a second, he can cause their mind to do the same. Once the mind begins to wander, temptation sets in, and temptation is followed by action. This is where choice comes in. You can act on that temptation, or you can avoid the situation altogether. Unfortunately, lust does something to us.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4

It’s almost as if lust is starting a fire within us that needs immediate extinguishing. No affair starts with passion. It typically starts with a glance, followed by a conversation, then a gentle brush of the shoulders or touch of the hands, then intimate conversation, and finally, the decision to break our marriage bonds. In today’s current social climate, lust is what sells…..everything. You can’t watch tv with your kids nowadays without seeing scantily clad women being paraded all over commercials. Sexually driven jokes have made their way into children’s cartoons and movies. This sexualization of our children may not have immediate results today, but it’s the seeds planted in their young minds that will affect them as they grow older. Lust is dangerous. So how do we counteract this madness?

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:1–2

Thankfully, Greg and Becky were able to save their marriage and years later, Greg, through tears, apologized for what he had put so many of us through due to his bad choices. I am thankful for the reconciliation that we had, but I hate what his family had to go through in the process. As disciples, it is our calling to be a light in this dark world, and lust is casting a deep and dark shadow over almost everything. It’s up to us to be vigilant. We have an enemy, and his name is satan. He wants nothing less than misery for all of us, and our lust is one of his greatest tools to accomplish that. What’s our greatest weapon against this? The Holy Spirit. We need to trust the Spirit to guide us in the way we should go. When we do this, we walk by the Spirit and not our own desires.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16