Don't Hurt Yourself

There’s a strange tradition in my family. It’s not an intentional one, so to speak, but it’s consistent. It has to do with the women in my family hurting themselves. Now, it's not on purpose, but it is consistent. Growing up, my mom had this amazing skill of always finding a way to cut, scrape, or bruise herself. Dad used to always say that she could cut herself on an ice cube. I can’t tell you the number of times that I saw my mother wearing a band-aid over one of her recent wounds while growing up. She never let it bother her, but I remember my dad just kinda laughing as she would tell him how she recently cut herself again.

My wife, Rhea, has kept the tradition alive but in her own way. Instead of cutting herself, my wife can run into, trip over, or just simply hurt herself on any surface, corner, or object lying around. You have no idea how many times my wife has looked at me and said, “Look at these bruises.” My response has been fairly consistent over the years. “Stop hurting my wife.” Each time I say that, we both laugh but know it will happen again. She has a gift, and I guess we have to celebrate it. I can’t help but laugh even as I’m typing this out.

My daughter, Ellie, has kept the tradition alive. Her own variation is simply running into things. She runs into walls, vehicles, and people, nothing is off limits when it comes to unknowing targets for my daughter. She is learning to hone her skills of self-damage, and I know the sky is the limit for how she will carry on this glorious Kelley tradition. On a side note, pray for my mom, my wife, and my daughter. They’re constantly injured.

Pride can be a lot like this in our lives. If we aren’t paying attention, it can hurt us; ruin relationships, cause us to lose jobs, and even hurt the welfare of others around us. Pride is like a venom that can seep throughout the body until poisoning us on every level.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Romans 12:3–5

Most times, when we read this passage from Paul, we look at it from the aspect of everyone having gifts and using them within the context of the Church. I want to look at it from a different point of view. Paul starts off by saying we should not think of ourselves more highly than others. He quite literally starts off by saying, “Don’t be proud.” When we allow pride to step in, we devalue those around us. It doesn’t matter what the gifts and skills of others are. We see ourselves as better. This doesn’t help out the Church. While everyone else is working lockstep with each other, the proud individual usual stews over how much better they would be doing these things, or they think they should be the one leading the endeavor, all the while missing out on the beauty of serving with other believers. In essence, they’re hurting themselves.

Pride is really the opposite of humility. While humility says, “I will treat others as better than myself,” pride says, “I am better.” This is the inherent evil of pride. Living in pride means living outside of reality.

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9–14

In this parable, Jesus is conveying the importance of humility in opposition to pride. On one side, there’s a man telling God all the things that make him great and not evil, like the man standing near him. He’s telling God all the reasons why the Lord should be impressed. Trust me when I say that God doesn’t sit back and look at your deeds and just marvel at the awesomeness of you. On the other hand, you have a man who comes to God in humility, admitting his sin. Who does Jesus say we should model? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not the pharisee. Without even realizing it, the pharisee was hurting himself by placing himself in such a high place of personal honor. Only God’s ways are best.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8–9

It’s time we stop tripping over our lofty thoughts of ourselves and realize Who is worthy of that place in our lives. Don’t allow pride to cause separation in your life from God, from your family, and from the Church. Pride puts us on an island in a community of one because no one else is worthy of citizenship there. Doing this causes us to miss out on the beauty of Christ’s Church and the true family that we get to be a part of. Do yourself a favor and let go of your pride. Stop hurting yourself.