Can We Truly Forgive?

Two weeks ago, the news was released that the former lead singer of the Newsboys and former member of DC Talk, Michael Tait, had been leading a double life that included heavy drug and alcohol use, homosexual relationships, and sexual assault on at least 3 men. Last week, Michael Tait posted on his Instagram page a formal apology. He admitted to everything and made no excuses. He called it sin, not a mistake or a bad choice. He took ownership, and he admitted that most may never forgive him, and he’s earned that. He admitted that, when he left the Newboys in January, he checked himself into rehab. He knew he had a problem and was taking it head-on. While many see this as an “I gotcha” moment (he’s only admitting to it because he got caught), others see this as a genuine confession of sin. Regardless, this news rocked the Christian music industry, and a lot of people are putting their two cents in. On one end, you see people whose faith has been shaken, and on the other end, people are furious with rage and refuse to forgive him. Both sides of this are wrong. Let me explain.

First, let’s talk about the people who have had their faith shaken by this. We need to understand that God did not do this. God did not approve of this. God lays no claim on sin. Michael Tait is human. He is fallible. He fell to temptation. God didn’t. We live in a society that celebrates celebrity. We get caught up in the hype train of what our favorite actors, athletes, or musicians do in their personal lives. The paparazzi make a killing off of this. When someone becomes famous, they lose the ability to lead a normal life. Going to the grocery store becomes a circus. Everyone wants a photo or an autograph. People are always staring at them. As a result, many of us find ourselves living vicariously through these “larger than life” individuals. In the Christian world, we do the same with pastors, writers, and, you guessed it, musicians. We raise them to the level of “God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and insert name here.” This is a dangerous thing to do, and the Bible speaks out very clearly about it.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.
- Psalms 118:8–9

Thus says the LORD: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.
- Jeremiah 17:5–7

We see, very plainly, that God never intended for us to put our trust in man. Jeremiah goes so far as to say that trusting in man is like trying to survive in the desert. Spiritually, we’ll dehydrate. The living waters that God offers us instead become like sand. We begin to thirst for something that simply doesn’t satisfy, and when our human “deity” falls, so does our faith. This is a very dangerous place to exist in. We are meant to worship a perfect God. Man isn’t perfect. Man is flawed. A human being will fail, but God never will. 

It’s perfectly fine to be enamored with someone’s talent, but they aren’t on the level of Jesus Christ. Putting all your faith in humanity is like building a skyscraper out of toothpicks. Any strong wind that comes by will blow the structure down. It may hold during some harsh conditions, but it can’t hold forever. We need something more sturdy than that.

      Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people, from this time forth and forevermore.
- Psalms 125:1–2

I’ll take a mountain over toothpicks any day. We need to remember where our faith and our trust really need to reside and make no exceptions. Only God is worthy of our faith and trust. When we live like that, the fall of a celebrity can’t shake us or cause us to walk away from our faith.

On the other end of this conversation are the people who are angered to the point of unforgiveness. This is a very treacherous way to live. Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity. Jesus dying on the cross was a sacrifice to forgive all sins. ALL SINS. That’s not a typo. That’s not an overexaggeration. We needed a sacrifice that could erase our sins, and that sacrifice was Christ. Regardless of how awful a sin is, it is forgivable. What Michael Tait did is no different. So what does the Bible say about forgiveness in these situations?

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
- James 5:16

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy
- Proverbs 28:13

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
- Galatians 6:1–2

There are two main things we need to connect with here. The first is that when we sin, we are to confess those sins. The second is that we, as Christians, are to forgive those who have sinned when they confess. Both of these things can be horribly difficult to do. Confessing our sins means letting others see our failures. It means admitting we are flawed. Confessing our sins is a verbal admission to messing up. No one likes to do this. Let me repeat, no one likes to do this. Fewer will do it before they are caught. 

Think back on your life. How many times did you confess a sin to someone BEFORE they knew about it? This is a lesson I’m trying to teach my seven-year-old son. He will do something, then try to cover it up, then say it didn’t happen, before finally confessing to what he did. My lesson to him is that it’s always better to “fess up” than to hide something you’ve done that you know is wrong. This is what God wants from all of us. However, there’s no clause in his forgiveness that says, “After you’ve been caught, now your forgiveness is null and void.” Our responsibility is to forgive and restore. Whether someone gets ahead of their sin to admit it or they finally ask for forgiveness after they’ve been caught, we must forgive. We are given no other option.

Does this mean someone shouldn’t be punished for their sin? That’s an emphatic “No.” We must pay the price for wrongdoings. Michael Tait is going to have to deal with the consequences of his actions. He may end up in some major lawsuits or even jail time. He’s earned that by his actions. However, his actions haven’t negated our responsibility to forgive him now that he’s confessed. This is a “rubber meets the road” kind of moment. We speak of grace and love and forgiveness, but can we genuinely live it out? This isn’t just about a Christian singer. This is about anyone in your life who sins against you, then confesses and asks for forgiveness. 

When we hold on to unforgiveness, typically, we pay the highest price. We become bitter, angry, and that sin that we are holding onto gets too much real estate in our heads and hearts. We are in a debt/debtor relationship that has to be reconciled. Until we release the debt, we will continue to be tormented by our unforgiveness. This doesn’t mean that now we trust them with our lives. It doesn’t mean that person is our best friend in the world, and we’ll be spending as much time as we can with them. It simply means they don’t owe us anything anymore. The debt is paid, and we can move on. The process of restoration can now begin.

If the God of the universe can forgive us for putting His Son on the cross, then we should be able to forgive each other. It’s really that simple. Now, we simply have the task of actually living like this. Let’s learn to forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ when they confess their sins. Let’s work toward restoration and grace. If it was good enough for the cross, it should be good enough for us.